Beautiful Fit of the Aching Soul
by ArcadiaArden
Summary: The heart and the soul always know where they belong even if it takes the mind longer to recognize the fit.


Rizzoli & Isles – I certainly don't own them. I give a lot of credit to the people that do and thank them for letting me mess about with them for a bit. The story and any original characters that might crop up belong to my addled little brain.

**Written for our own feltknicker's tumblr prompt (prompt at bottom) **

Beta work by the ever suffering Sideadde.

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><p>Pulling into Maura's driveway and finding it disturbingly empty, Jane tried to rationalize why each call kept ringing but went to voicemail. Maybe Maura had her phone on silent. Maybe she had misplaced it. It could have even been left in the car or left at work. But Jack's car wasn't in the driveway and the phone didn't skip directly to voicemail so this wasn't Maura putting her technological "do not disturb" sign out.<p>

Wavering between irritation and panic, Jane was already placing another call before she had made it halfway through Maura's front door. Letting it slam behind her, the only thing Jane found on the other side was her mother peering into the toaster.

"Hey Ma." Eyeing the couch Jane grumbled at the empty cushions. "Well that answers that." She answered the silent question in her mother's raised eyebrows with a sweep of her hand. "Well nightmare number one didn't pan out. We're not revisiting Brad Adams."

She spotted Maura's phone and picked it up as her mother handed her a mug of coffee. "She left this out here?" Narrowing her eyes, Jane studied the hallway leading to Maura's bedroom. "I didn't see good ol' Jack's car in the driveway either but she did say…" Frowning into the cup of coffee she stabbed a teaspoon into the sugar bowl.

Angela shook her head. "Not today, Jane."

The tone stopped Jane in her tracks, her hand jerked halfway to her cup and the spoon of sugar sprinkled the countertop in a sparkling arc. "Damn it!" Irritated she brushed at the sandy crystals. "What's wrong? Lost his underwear this time?"

"I don't know what happened." Angela pulled the toast out and slathered a piece with cream cheese. "I let myself in late to make a cup of tea and I could hear them arguing in the bedroom. Jack stormed out before I could leave. I waited a little while but Maura never came out."

Coffee forgotten, Jane traced Maura's phone with her finger. "She didn't call me."

Angela placed the plate with the toast in front of her daughter. "It was late."

"It was late when I broke up with Casey and I called her to come over." Jane eyed the toast and shook her head at her mother. "Not hungry."

Angela picked up the forgotten coffee cup, finished adding sugar and slid it over. "I went to her bedroom door, but it wasn't my place... She was very…" Jane could almost see her picking and discarding various words "… upset. You know how Maura is, she probably needed to deal with it on her own before calling you."

Abruptly pushing back from the island, Jane was already half way through the living room before her voice carried over the space. "That's not how we work, Maura and me. We deal with this stuff together."

Once she reached Maura's bedroom, Jane paused, listening. When all seemed quiet she hesitated. It would have been a late night, Maura was probably still sleeping. But Maura should have called her, she shouldn't have been that upset by herself. Jane pictured Maura crying alone in the middle of the night and her gut twisted.

"Maura!" Jane knocked on the door and waited but the tapping of her foot against the hardwood was the only sound. She knocked again. "Come on. Rise and shine. Ma's trying to feed me toast for breakfast! Toast! I was coming to drag you over to Figaro's."

When there still wasn't a response, Jane put her ear against the door and concentrated. When she thought she heard muffled sobbing, she grasped the sides of the door frame and considered her options which really boiled down to one viable choice. "Alright, I hope you're decent because I'm coming in."

With a last firm knock she opened the bedroom door. The empty, rumpled, bed mocked her from across the room. A box of tissues was toppled on the nightstand, and wadded up tissues filled the wicker trash barrel wedged against the bed rail.

Softly sighing, Jane looked at the closed bathroom door, finally zeroing in on the soft, mournful sound. By the time she reached the ensuite she realized what she was hearing was actually music. It took a moment, but eventually she even recognized the song.

When the water shut off Jane started to back away until Maura's voice reached her ears. There was something heart wrenching about the lyrics mixed with Maura's slightly off key cadence. Jane rubbed a hand against her chest, pressing against the squeezing sensation. She could hear the tears in Maura's voice when the same song started up again the feeling grew until it was almost painful. Unconsciously she moved closer, letting her forehead fall against the door.

That was it then.

She was going to have to kill Jack.

In the middle of debating homicide methods and disposal options, the door opened and she stumbled forward.

Maura's startled shriek bounced off the walls before she seemed to recognize the dark curls falling towards her. Jane barely managed to grasp under flailing arms before they both tumbled to the floor.

"Jane!"

Struggling slightly, Jane lifted her head off soft silk, following the open part in the robe up to a wide eyed Maura. Blushing, she carefully sat up. "Good morning?"

Blinking, Maura slowly sat up, clutching the sides of her robe together and tightening the belt.

Jane cleared her throat, taking in the wet hair plastered against Maura's head and the dark circles under red rimmed, hazel eyes. She reached out to smooth down a wrinkle over Maura's collarbone. "This robe looks better on you. Flowered silk did nothing for Jack."

Maura shook her head slightly, Jane could almost see her trying trying to reconcile the fact that she was beside her on her bathroom floor. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't answer your phone." Jane pushed herself up on her feet and offered Maura her hand. The warm grip was reassuring as she tugged Maura up. "I was worried."

Squeezing Jane's hand lightly in thanks, Maura tucked wet hair behind her ears. "It was Friday night, I had plans and since I'm not on the schedule, I left it in the kitchen. Do we have a body?"

Jane dropped Maura's hand and scratched at her nose, eyes wandering anyplace other than on Maura. "I felt like having breakfast out."

Maura rubbed at her upper arms and Jane could see reproach warring with welcome. In theory, Jack should be here this morning. Maura had been clear as she had said goodnight that she would be otherwise engaged for the evening. Jane resolutely studied the trees blowing lightly against the window over the tub.

"Jane." Jane winced at the undertone of admonishment and avoided eye contact until Maura grasped her wrist and shook it lightly. "Please look at me, I'm tired and my head is troubling me." Jane could hear the exhaustion from last night coupled with the scratchiness of tears. "You knew I had a date with Jack last night."

With a shrug of her shoulders, Jane went to step back but Maura's grip tightened on her wrist. "Exactly. You had a date last night, Friday night. It's Saturday morning." The sudden defeated sag to Maura's shoulders and loss of eye contact as the hold on her wrist released made the tight squeeze in her chest constrict more.

Maura stepped back and turned to walk out of the bathroom. "I can't handle this right now."

Scrambling for something to say, Jane barely had time to grab Maura's elbow as she turned away. "No. Don't." Confusion was written on Maura's face but Jane wasn't exactly sure what she doing. All she knew was that Maura looked weary in a way that she wasn't used to seeing and she needed to fix it. "I'm sorry I barged in. Ma said you had a fight with Jack last night. Want to talk about it?"

"We broke up." Maura was swallowing hard and Jane could see her trying to avoid tears.

"That idiot." Jane spit the words out. "You wanna know what? I knew he was an ass." Nodding definitively, Jane loosened her grip on Maura's elbow so she could rub along a silk covered arm. "A total jackass. Jack the jackass."

"It wasn't like that. I made him go." Jane couldn't stop her fingertips from dancing along Maura's arm as the other woman wavered closer. Maura seemed to be speaking almost more to herself than to her and she had to listen closely to follow the muttered words. "Jack should have fit, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to make it work."

With a long exhale Maura looked up at Jane through wet lashes. This time the words were clear, almost begging for an answer. "Why is it that I never seem to truly fit with anybody? Honestly?"

Maura's plaintive words ripped through Jane. Everything was bubbling inside and along her skin. Instinct made her need to pull Maura close and wrap her up and never let her go. Of course Maura fit. She fit with the BPD team. She fit in perfectly with her family. And damn it, were they not best friends? But that wasn't...

Suddenly, Jane felt the confined space of the bathroom surround her and she took a half step back. Desperate words rushed out. "What's with the maudlin speech? That's not the Maura Isles I know. It has to be that hipster emo music you were singing along to. Lana Del Rey? I mean come on, really?"

Maura's eyes pinned her in place, shining wetly in the light before spilling over. Jane could feel the tremble of emotion and she brought her other hand up, hovering, uncertain. But Maura was close enough that Jane could see the light dusting of freckles along her forehead that sprinkled down wet cheeks and along the delicate lines of her neck. Of their own volition her hands grabbed Maura's shoulders.

Jane's fingers were stroking along the dip between neck and shoulder and Maura leaned into the touch. "I'm almost 40."

That wasn't what Jane was expecting to hear. "So what? Me too. No big deal."

Maura shook her head and brought a finger up to the side of her eye. "Lines." Jane stared at the spot, trying to see anything remarkable under Maura's finger. She could feel the lines on her own forehead intensifying.

Now Maura was almost quietly introspective, speaking with an almost clinical detachment as she stepped just out of reach. "I am fully aware part of my draw for the opposite sex is my aesthetic appeal. It's not going to last forever." Maura dropped her hand away from her face but now her eyes seemed locked on Jane's feet as the emotion crept back in and her shoulders curled. "Don't you see? Like the song. I'm not going to be young and beautiful forever."

Jane didn't know how to respond other than take a small step forward, fingers twitching to reach out and touch again. She almost let out a sigh of relief when Maura closed the final bit of distance and rested her forehead against her shoulder, sinking into arms that automatically closed tightly. "And when that's gone, what do I truly have left to attract someone? My financial status?"

Jane concentrated on trying to convey her support, tried to hold Maura together as she started to fall apart. Maura's words were rapid and rough. "My job turns most people off; my tendencies seem to put off the rest. Jack is genuinely a kind person. He is successful, intelligent and funny. He even tried to get to know you because he knew how important it was to me. How many other Jacks are truly out there?"

"Maura." Jane tried to lace her words with every bit of conviction she felt. "This is crazy and you know it. You're beautiful, but your looks are such a small part of who you are. A pretty face doesn't make you fit in at work. That's 100% talent and brains. In fact I'm pretty sure your sense of fashion is almost a job hazard at the crime scenes. I mean come on? Stilettos?"

The exasperated sigh she felt against her neck reassured her that Maura was listening. "And I'm pretty sure your looks are not helping you get along with my family. Other than making my brothers slip in their own drool looking at you, we both know it's that gigantic heart you have that makes you fit with us. Or maybe a small amount of insanity, but whatever. It fits. You fit."

Jane felt Maura clutch at her before soft words were mumbled into her shirt. "This house is too empty when your family isn't here."

"You can't be serious." Jane tightened her grip the last statement catching her off guard. "Ma lives here. We're here more often than we're not. Most of the time I'm surprised you don't feel the need to run screaming."

Maura shook her head rapidly, not looking up. "Eventually you all have leave and go home." There was a shuddering sigh. "Think about it Jane. Your mother could remarry, your brothers will have their own families." There was a sniffle. "I want what having your family in my life has shown me. But are you aware of the statistics for finding a suitable companion in our age bracket? I want more than being included in other people's lives. I want someone that wants to build a life with me."

Maura sucked in air and let it out slowly. "Someone to share a quiet night with long after my looks have faded and my career has ended."

Jane swallowed against the burn in her own throat and pressed her lips briefly to the crown of Maura's head. "Jack is an idiot to let you go. I mean, if it was me, I would have been over here first thing this morning. But, if you're positive he is so perfect for you, I bet he's already regretting everything." She forced herself to continue. "Call him."

Tears started to spill hotly again and Maura shook her head. "That's my problem! I don't want to fix it." Jane's arms were running up and down her back and that seemed to intensify the crying. The more upset Maura was becoming the closer she seemed to want to be and all Jane could do was try to soothe her. "I'm so tired, Jane. Tired and confused. I kept trying and trying with Jack because it should have worked. He seemed to fit into almost every facet of my life but we still failed."

Maura swallowed thickly and seemed to settle deeper into Jane's hold. "Last night I figured out why. This time it wasn't the conversation. My job wasn't an issue. I didn't diagnose him with anything and we were quite compatible in bed."

Maura lifted her head so she could look at Jane's face. "So the problem is me. I'm the variable that doesn't work. I'm the one that can't seem to fit. And I'm only getting older, losing more time." She seemed intent on studying Jane's face with liquid eyes. "I don't want to wake up one day and realize I am going to face every night turning on all the lights so I feel less alone."

Jane was pressing her lips against Maura's forehead before she even realized she was going to. She inhaled the shampoo off damp hair. "Don't be ridiculous. You won't end up alone. You have me, remember?" The truth of her own words made her draw Maura closer. "You fit with me."

She must have said the right thing because the tension seemed to melt out of Maura, her weight almost boneless as she curled into the side of her neck. Jane wasn't certain where she stopped and Maura began.

"Do I really though?" Maura voice seemed small and lost, buried in the tangle of Jane's hair. She went to answer but Maura continued. "You could have married Casey and left with him. How would I have fit in that situation? I still would have been here."

Jane closed her eyes, realizing again how that relationship had put so much of her life in chaos. "But I didn't go. I chose Boston." In the space around them the echo of an unspoken 'I chose you' begged to find a voice, but even clearing her throat couldn't help those exact words push through. Jane settled instead on admitting, "My career wasn't the only reason I stayed."

Silence and the feel of Maura breathing against her was the only response. Part of Jane realized that Maura didn't seem to be focused on the loss of Jack so much as the ideal which Jack represented. The other part realized that this moment was rapidly evolving beyond simple comfort, that it felt more like a reunion.

One that she didn't know she needed until it was happening.

"I was the one that sent Jack home last night. I ended it." The words startled Jane out of her realization. "It started when he surprised me with a romantic getaway next weekend. He kept getting more and more upset when I wouldn't go."

For a moment Jane couldn't understand the problem. "What's so important about next weekend? The only plans I know you had was the Bruins game with me. I could have found someone else to take your ticket. I had to practically coerce you into going in the first place."

"I know but I didn't want that." Maura lifted her head and leaned back enough to fall into Jane's gaze, willing her to understand. "Jack and I needed different things. We had different priorities when it came to what we wanted out of a partnership. Ultimately I realized we're not compatible."

Jane tried to ignore the acute awareness of Maura's body rippling over her skin, tried to ignore her own silent admission echoing in Maura's words.

When faced with the choice Maura had picked her too. She always did.

Jane meant to look away but she couldn't. Her voice sounded strained as she tried one last time to step away from the hazy edge separating friendship from other. "So Jack wasn't it. No problem. You'll find the right guy and then I'll be the old lady turning lights on so I won't feel lonely." Desperate, she tried for humor. "Or you know, to provide a way to see in the dark so I don't walk into furniture or trip over my spinster lady cat collection." She offered a wink and a smirk. "Woot lights! Let's hear it for electricity."

Maura just shook her head in frustration and blinked back tears as she started to back away.

There was a distinct chill when Maura started to pull out of her arms and there was an immediate sense of loss. "No." Jane held Maura in place. "Wait. Please." She had to close her eyes for a moment but she could feel Maura breathing against her.

Jane opened her eyes and Maura was looking at her through red rimmed lids. Her hair had partially dried, sticking out from her head and her nose was red.

And she was perfect. A perfect fit.

Jane swallowed. "You do."

Confused at the intensity lacing the words, Maura studied Jane's face. "I do what?"

"Fit." Jane could feel Maura searching her face. "Earlier you asked if you really did... fit with me." A sense of calm anticipation washed over her. This time it was easy. "You do. You do fit…with me."

Jane almost felt like she was burning from her conviction as she leaned in closer. She let her eyes wander, trying to sort out the emotion filtering over Maura's face. "We fit with each other."

Maura let the fingertips from one hand reach out to rest on the side of her face and Jane leaned into the solid warmth. Maura's expression became intent but Jane knew the minute she understood by the slight nod.

Maura bowed her head and Jane chewed the inside of her cheek, trying not to fidget while she waited. When Maura finally looked back up her expression was solemn. "Let's try this again." She made sure Jane's eyes were firmly locked into hers. "Why did you come over this morning?"

The blood rushed to her face. Jane winced, but the warmth of Maura's body was alive in her hands. "I told you. I was hungry and I wanted to go to breakfast."

"I am sure you were, but you didn't need me for that." Maura slid her hand until she could cup the back of Jane's neck, her actions almost in contrast with her words, sending a ripple down Jane's spine.

Jane's world narrowed down to two twin pools of hazel begging for the truth. "I did need you." Her voice sounded thready and thin, she took a deep breath. "I wanted to spend time with you." Maura wasn't moving away. "I didn't care if Jack was here. He already had his turn last night."

Maura's fingers were brushing the nape of her neck and she shivered, eyes fluttering shut at the intimacy. Hungry for more Jane dipped her head. "It would have hurt if you said no."

With a gentle pull Maura was able to let her words dance across Jane's lips. "I would have said yes."

Jane's sigh was lost as Maura brushed their lips together. Once. Twice. This was right. This fit. She felt the connection winding between them, binding them together.

Somehow Jane found herself melting closer, filling the lines and hollows until there was only the rapid rise and fall of Maura's chest against her. When Maura angled her chin up again, seeking, Jane closed the space, letting warm lips hover until Maura reached up to meet them, welcoming her in.

When Jane finally pulled back, trailing light kisses across Maura's cheek and up to her temple, she felt a whisper against her jaw.

"You were right."

Jane opened her eyes at Maura's quiet admission and let herself drown in the love and affection reflecting back at her.

Maura's words were soft but certain.

"We do fit."

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><p>AN:*Person gets prompt* *Person dusts off keyboard* *Tries to remember this thing called fic writing during a brief life pause* *Writes quickly before life gets in the way as a way to say 'hi, miss you, Rizzlers' and 'Is anybody still out there?'* (well that and did anybody think I was really going to let the Jack thing sit the entire winter hiatus;)?)

_**Felty's ficlet/headcanon prompt: Which song does Maura listen (and sing along) to in the shower and why?**_

All my thanks to Sideadde who was short sighted enough to say "sure" when I asked for a "quick" beta. She's excited her torture is over. She is probably ready to tell Charlie to drop out of law school. Thanks Sid ;)


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